I still get panic texts from friends. I’m THAT person now.
“I think little Kanye has lice. How do I know?”
“You bought glue sticks, composition notebooks, No. 2s, and new shoes. Freedom is just around the corner. Your kids bound home each day with a tree’s worth of paper in their backpack: emergency contact forms, PTA calendars, assignments. You have more homework than they do the first week. Soon they will fall into a routine, and you can get your life back.
But one day, The Letter shows up in their folder. Or worse. You get The Phone Call.
Those of you who have been through a lice infestation before just felt your stomach lurch as your hand rose, immediately, to start scratching your head. There, there. It’s OK. I just said the word lice – they aren’t really there. Unless you actually have lice right now, in which case, go over to the liquor cabinet and pour a shot of tequila. Now drink it and stop crying.
I’m now going to familiarize you with the 5 Stages of Lice…” Read the rest of the article!